You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
