But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize