I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
How's work?
Spinning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
