On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
