Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
