after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
