Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
