either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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