Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
