I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
