There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
