He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
