Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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