you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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