you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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