i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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