Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
