Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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