Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
