Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i drank out of a bidet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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