are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
