yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
