I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
