I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
