do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize