And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
