I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
