I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
