she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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