In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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