just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
