the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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