Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
either way he was missing a nipple.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
