By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
