And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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