THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
