Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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