Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
