She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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