but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
