hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
