who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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