But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
