Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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