your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
