STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
