So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
