don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
