This girl is more easily done than said...
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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