We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
