ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
