It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
