Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
