It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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