why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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