im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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