she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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