Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
