You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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