found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
