you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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