Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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