we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
