so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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