you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
