we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
