this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
is it fun? or sober?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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