I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
