Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
