I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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