you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
