I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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