You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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