Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
